here is a carrd for the crisis happening right now in Yemen
here is a carrd for Palestine.
here is a carrd for trans rights
here is a carrd for the terror bill in Philippines.
here is a carrd with various donation links (for Syria, BLM etc)
here is a carrd for LGBT+ rights
this post is constantly being updated - please send an ask if you find more!
me [coming to terms with a truth about myself]: hm…………………………………………….. unfortunate
Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.
Why is that?
Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.
The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.
The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.
The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.
The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.
The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.
The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.
The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.
The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.
This sounds like a great movie, honestly
my favorite relationship is the one between humans and dandelions. in childhood we instinctively blow on its little fuzzy seed carriers. we take the role of the wind, we help the dandelions in a crucial part of their lives, and in return we get a wish and a moment of happiness. this is how nature is meant to work. we are just as unaware of our goodness as the honey bees are, pollinating the flowers
When I was a little girl I convinced most of the girls in my grade to fill up a ziplock full of dandelion fluff at home and bring it out to recess. I told them we were obligated to do this because dandelions are created by God and it’s our moral obligation to spread the seeds (we went to a Catholic school so this argument was infallible). At recess we all stood like 3 feet apart from each other in the soccer field and dumped out our seed bags. It was chaos, especially because the teachers had no idea it was happening until too late.
Long story short, there were about 1,000 more dandelions that year and we had to bring home little memos on bright orange paper that children were not allowed to bring dandelion fluff to school in ziplock bags, which my mom looked at when I brought it home, and said, “Did someone actually do this?” Completely unaware that it was her own daughter who started the riotous seedbombing
Our good friend @quietpinetrees has brought his microfiction to tumblr and it is achingly beautiful.
oh this is gorgeous
What are your pet’s favourite places?
Pudding does not wish to be seen but wishes to remain warm
the way she talks like this is a childrens book is kinda giving me life
Your guide greeting you as you enter a new area of the game
The afterlife
if you’ve ever handled a cast iron pan you know those mfs are heavy as hell. and here’s sam swinging it around taking out any orc in his path. we talk about giving merry and pippin a gun but where’s the appreciation for SAM’S guns
#the fandoms silence on samwise gamgee’s buff arms is deafening
One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.
Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?
Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?
Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?
***
Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.
Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?
***
Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?
Customer: …I’m pretty good.
Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee*
***
Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?
Customer: ….they’re okay.
Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.
***
Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.
***
Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.
***
Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!
***
Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.
***
Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!
Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates appropriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.
Everyone saying “i love her” in the notes, do NOT worry she loves you too.
Every time a customer says “I love your energy,” or “I love your enthusiasm,” she says “I love YOUR energy! You have a fantabulous rest of your day, don’t forget to be awesome! I’ll see you later, alligator!”
peoplehood-deactivated20211003:
Hello❣️ If you want to, please add your favorite love song ever (only 1 song) to this collaborative playlist, I want to compile them all together❣️ Thank you 🫂💌
Hermit homes in the Russian wilderness. From the Escape series by Danila Tkachenko.
